My travels, like any other, developed out of a necessity - the need to develop myself as a maker and a performer. Along this journey I have often felt the need to be acknowledged by others, and to feel worthy as an artist and as a person. At DasArts, I questioned what makes me unique as an artist. What is it, exactly, that I do? What makes me different from the talented maid who washes the dirty laundry while humming a lullaby that sends shivers down the spine, the garbage man who makes figurines as a hobby, or the waiter who is also a jazz musician by night? Once I realised there is nothing special about what I do, I felt, for the most part, as though I was digging in mud and getting nowhere. Finding my own truth has been central component of my two-year quest.
As a theatre maker, I am interested in making work that contributes to the world I live in. To do that, I need to go deeper and find my signature as a maker, to investigate form and style and my specific approach to creating performance. Again, this process involved several questions. Why do I feel the need to abandon conventional methods in theatre? How do I approach the spectators in such a way that they listen and feel? Indeed, why should they? What do I expect from the spectator?
Ironically, putting myself out there as the subject, insecurities and all, has been the key to finding a truthful and deeply personal expression that touches on universal issues. As soon as I stopped trying to match other people’s expectations, I found myself.
Face Off represents a preoccupation with my own skin. I am a South African whose life experience has been formed and dominated by race. Coming to Europe has made me confront these issues outside of racially prescribed South African society. At times, it is uncomfortable and feels claustrophobic. As a stranger in a strange land, I wonder whether these feelings are caused by how others perceive me, or whether I project these feelings onto others.
In Face Off, I hope to ask questions about the roles we play, the roles we are put into and masks we choose to wear.
The process forced me into a place where I stopped taking myself so seriously. I can laugh at myself, and do not feel the need to present concrete answers but, instead, to keep on asking questions. Once I started to ask questions, the wool began to unravel. Through this performance-based response I contextualised where I come from, what informs my immediate thought processes and how I respond to the world in general. At the very heart of the matter is my desire to make a socially engaging performance, to find my own voice and my own way, and to give form to this.
I would say that one of the most important lessons learned during this period has been that I do not need to try and gain acceptance from others. Instead, I engage with my art in a way that it is not only a fulfilling experience for my audience but one that also feeds my soul. Just like me, my art is constantly evolving and it cannot be fixed in one place anymore. It is from here that I will proceed, and continue to work, create, love and live.
Concept and Performance: Ntando Cele
Music: Simon Ho
Script: Raphael Urweider
Advisors: Catherine Henegan, Petra Aardai
Thanks to Dasarts- www.dasarts.nl
Rotefabrik- www.rotefabrik.ch
